Whether in how we raise our children or approach confrontation, each of us holds strong beliefs that can bring us closer together—or drive us further apart.
While disagreements can widen our understanding and instill newfound wisdom, they have primarily become a breeding ground for disunity. So how do we pursue unity in a polarized culture? How do we love people who differ in virtually everything we say?
I believe grounding ourselves in our new identity is the best place to start:
“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”
(Colossians 3:1-3)
Paul exhorts the church to focus on eternal matters because their lives are no longer bound to earth. They are bound to Jesus and the eternal life he offers. They are forever hidden with him, their lives securely deposited in the hands of a Good Shepherd. Their wellspring of life is now hidden in the riches Jesus offers—the riches of knowing, treasuring, and reflecting their Savior.
This applies to every believer! Through Christ, God has broken the power of sin in our lives, making us one with Jesus to take on whatever is true about him. We have the power of the Spirit to walk in the freedom of our new life with Jesus. Jesus now fills our lives and revitalizes every nook and cranny of our beings.
But while this is true for all Christians, our battle with sinful habits still rages within us. This is why Paul repeatedly urged the church to actively fight against their old reality: “put to death,” “put them all away,” “do not lie.”
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”
(Colossians 3:5-8)
If we look more closely at his exhortations in verses 8 and 9, we find that speech is a predominant factor in living out our Christlikeness. Slander, obscene speech, and lying can’t have any place in our lives if we are to experience the abundant life Jesus promises. Our mouth needs to reflect the good fruit of a Savior who breathed his Spirit of truth and grace into us. Not only did Jesus purchase unity with each believer, but he also afforded unity among believers.
This means we put on renewed speech that reaps a harvest of peace in the church.
It means laying down our knowledge for the sake of love. It means choosing forgiveness when the bitterness stings our hearts and pursuing unity when our pride might tell us we deserve or know better.
Above all, it means we let God’s Word do a new work in our hearts that overflows into every conversation, no matter the sacrifice. If Jesus laid down his life for us, we can lay down anything that comes between us and a peaceful, loving conversation with our neighbors.
To pattern our speech after Jesus, we must come to Scripture first and learn his voice, asking him to produce a rich outpouring of his truth:
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”
(Colossians 3:16)
But we must also approach each conversation with a discerning heart. Can you guess where we find that wisdom? When it comes to our unity with Christ, the Sunday school answer is a pretty safe bet! Yes, Jesus is where we find all treasures of wisdom and knowledge.1
Ready for another Colossians passage? (they’re just too good!)
“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
(Colossians 4:5-6)
We can start the discernment process by opening ourselves up to the possibility of being wrong. We all have pieces of truth, even those who have not given their life to Jesus (or outsiders), that complete our understanding of God and his world. But we also have blindspots that keep us from the truth. Instead of holding tightly to the desire to be right, we can humbly acknowledge that we don’t know everything and that every conversation is an opportunity for growth.
This is how author Preston Sprinkle puts it:
“We want to be closer to the truth. And we should view our dialogue partner as a companion in the journey. Rather than focusing on how we can prove them wrong, we should ask the question, Where might they be right?”2
We also need to identify the type of disagreement. Primary issues concern the matters of salvation, which find their answers in Scripture. Secondary issues include topics such as baptism and communion that are open to interpretation. Finally, tertiary issues deal with personal convictions and preferences that don’t hold weight on our salvation.
Our responsibility is to live out what we know is true about Scripture. We should be zealous to handle the truth of God correctly,3 yet also pursue Christ’s wisdom and spirit of gentleness to uphold our neighbors’ goodwill. As we engage in conversations about secondary and tertiary issues, we can agree to disagree for the sake of unity. As Paul puts it in his letter to the Corinthians, “…but while knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church” (1 Corinthians 8:1b, NLT). Jesus purchased our unity, making us one with him, so we should make every effort to keep that fellowship with other people.
We won’t get it fully right, and we’ll stumble in our doctrine on this side of eternity. But, as Jesus gives us grace in the process, we should extend that same grace to believers and nonbelievers who are learning alongside us.
Whether we disagree on appropriate worship music or how to care for a loved one’s health, our common ground should always be the lordship of Jesus Christ. If we seek Jesus as Lord in our conversations, he will give us the truth, wisdom, and love to permeate our words.
When Jesus is on our side, we can be assured that no matter our different opinions, love will always have the last word toward our neighbor.
Closing Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for uniting us with your beloved Son.
We praise you for calling us beloved and inviting us to a new family.
The old is gone, the new is here!
Forgive us for speaking words that tie us back to our old selves.
We relinquish the words hurting our neighbors,
The very people you also call beloved, your treasured possession.
Life is here, death has lost its sting!
Please give us the strength by your Spirit to put on the
New words of your gospel and extend the invitation
Of unity to all we meet.
For, Lord, to whom shall we go?
You have the words of eternal life.
Amen.
Footnotes:
1 Colossians 2:3.
2 Preston Sprinkle, Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?, 24.
3 2 Timothy 2:15.
Photo Credit: Jenna Martin
Long before Ela knew of storytelling as a vehicle for gospel-fueled transformation, she was already crafting stories with hopeful endings. While this went on for a while, her journey took a drastic turn when she went to Taylor University and encountered hope in the face of God. He was the ultimate hope she was searching for amidst her stories. With that knowledge came new layers of storytelling—photography, baking, videography, and more. She now enjoys studying the Word of her personal God and sharing what he is teaching her through the art of writing.
