It’s jarring to be let down by other Christians. After all, if anyone should know how best to love us, should it not be those who profess to love God?
Jesus gives a clear mandate that his followers should not only love one another, but love each other so deeply that we become known by the world for our love.1
The apostle John repeats this in his letters: “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us” (1 John 4:11–12 ESV).
This is how we show God to the world: by loving one another.
At the same time, the gospel is for sinners. The church is a congregation of people looking to become more like Jesus—but definitely not there yet. Jesus himself said that he came for the sick, not the “healthy.”2
What’s more, we don’t get to choose our family. The church is an eclectic mix of people we might not typically seek out. We are placed side by side with people who have different personalities and backgrounds. In many ways, this is wonderful—we certainly benefit from the diversity of thought that different perspectives bring. But in practice, this can often cause misunderstanding and insensitivity.
It’s easy to be tempted to walk away from church when we get hurt. We become disillusioned when God’s people don’t act in the way they are meant to. It’s heartbreaking to be let down by someone who says they follow Jesus yet doesn’t seem to walk out his teachings.
If we are to stay on the narrow path of following Jesus, we need to be able to discern that our disappointment is with people, not God. It is not God’s will for his church to let each other down—he commands us to love one another.
Below are four ways we can respond to disappointment in Christian community:
- Recognize that the church (and its people) are a work in progress. The Bible makes no attempt to present God’s people as perfect. All the great heroes of the faith commended in Hebrews 11 also had failures and shortcomings noted in previous books. As Hannah Montana once sang, “Nobody’s perfect.” Psalm 14:3 says, “They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one” (ESV). Jesus, of course, is perfect, and that’s the whole reason he needed to come to save us—we could not save ourselves. Church is a congregation of sinners saved by grace. Sanctification (as we are all keenly aware) is a long process. God has given us a vision for how we will one day be, but we’re not there yet.
- Forgive and set boundaries. Christians, of all people, should be willing to forgive—after all, our faith is built on being forgiven ourselves. But it is important to note that we are never called to be exploited. Sometimes the healthiest, most loving response to a situation is to draw clear boundaries. Wisdom is required, but we do not need to expose ourselves to repeated hurt.
- Resist making idols of leaders. There’s a temptation to make the most of our Christian leaders—be they in the local church or online. But they are not Jesus, and setting them up as our idols will only lead to hurt. “Big man theology” promises that this Christian thought leader will give you the satisfaction you seek. Paul emphatically refutes this in his first letter to the Corinthians, warning them not to boast in men.
- “What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.” (1 Corinthians 3:5–7 ESV)
- Recognize that Jesus is the only model of true perfection. No man can stand where Jesus stands. None of us will attain perfection as he is perfect. Fellow Christians will disappoint us, but Jesus never will. He is faithful to his promises, he is true to his character, and he does not change like shifting shadows.3 He will not let us down. If we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, we will be renewed.
God’s vision for his church is incredible.4 One day his kingdom will be fully established on earth as it is in heaven and our relationships with one another will be perfected. In the meantime, the church is called to distinguish itself by showing extravagant love to one another. We all contribute to be part of fulfilling the vision. Though we have differences, our common experience is our reliance on Jesus and our desire to become more like Him. May he sustain us, as no human can.
Application Questions
- How can you be part of God’s people establishing his kingdom on earth?
- Have you been hurt by a fellow Christian? Did you feel particularly disappointed?
- In what ways does the church succeed or struggle in being known by our love for one another?
- In what ways are you still a work in progress on the road to sanctification?
- What boundaries do you need to set with someone who has hurt you?
- Are there leaders who you have elevated to a higher status than you should?
Notes
Photo credit: Jenna Martin
Corine loves Jesus, rocks, and books. She is a geologist by trade, and also enjoys writing a newsletter, Sunshine Theologians, where she shares what she’s learning in her faith journey. She lives in Ireland with her husband and the world's best cat.
