If you pull out a dictionary or do a simple search online, you discover that the word “abandon” in its usage as a verb can signify someone in need of protection or help who has been left and never returned to; to give up or be given up completely.1 In other words, it can refer to someone who has been left to carry the weight of a burden on their own.
Abandonment (mostly as it relates to fullness of life and my purpose) has risen like a flood within my heart a few times. I have felt abandoned, alone, and shepherdless. The Word of God has plainly said I am not abandoned, I am never alone, I have a shepherd.2 Do I believe it despite what I feel? How am I supposed to know this is true?
In Matthew 27:46, Jesus expresses anguish in his dying words on the cross by quoting Psalm 22:1, “My God, My God why have you forsaken me?” He also said to the Father in the garden prior to his capture, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). Yes, he bore the sins of the entirety of humanity: past, present, and future.3
The excruciating pain and suffering is unimaginable. Sin cannot be found in God’s nature, yet God attached himself to humanity’s fallen experience within the perfect Lamb.4 You know, it is obvious Jesus felt forsaken. He spoke it. Yet, he knew it was not the lasting truth. He felt it, he acknowledged it, he screamed it as best he could to the Father. But the same Son of God who shared in the trinitarian life as he shared in this life, said children of God are never forsaken nor abandoned.5 We cannot get closer to God than Jesus is and was. Perhaps “to feel” forsaken is not equivalent to “being” forsaken.
“Being” as in a lasting condition, as in full truth that evades time and space. “To feel” was not true like God is true. He felt it though, to the deepest extent. Yet, feelings are not the lasting truth even if they are all we can recognize.
When we need someone to see us and let us know we are not left to shoulder the heavy burden on our own, when we feel abandoned, Jesus speaks directly to us. He invites each of us to “come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30).
If you still have that dictionary, you’ll see the word “abandon” can also be used as a noun. When used in this way, abandon means a feeling or attitude of wild or complete freedom. In other words, to be without reservation—no holding back.
Jesus is familiar with the feeling of abandonment. He felt forsaken on the cross as the perfect Lamb of God, who chose obedience even unto death that we may partake in his resurrection and experience everlasting life with God. Jesus also knows the other use of the word “abandon.” He came to earth and gave everything with full abandon, full freedom with no holding back, to see us and save us from abandonment.
Feelings will come; they can be valid and filled with pain. They are complex and sometimes require the help of licensed professionals who seek to help our hearts flourish. Yet, the truth remains. Thankfully, we will always have the choice to defy our feelings and believe the truth over and over again. When you are brought low to only see your abandonment, remember that Jesus has experienced feelings like this too. But if you are in Christ, you are not abandoned, you are never alone, and you have a shepherd.
If you need a prayer today, we can speak this psalm together along with hundreds of generations that have come before us.
O, LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful to me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,’
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
the darkness is as light with you.For you formed my inward parts;
Psalm 139:1-18
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
Footnotes
1 The Britannica Dictionary, s.v. “Abandon (verb),” accessed April 19, 2023, https://www.britannica.com/dictionary/abandon.
2 John 14:15–23; Psalm 139:1–18; John 10:11–15.
3 1 Peter 2:24.
4 Genesis 6:5–7; 1 John 3:1–10; Revelation 21:1–8.
5 John 14:15-23, Deuteronomy 31:8, Hebrews 13:5-6
Victoria is most often a vagabond seeking and enjoying adventure outdoors. She has a degree in Biblical and Theological Studies, and is passionate about redemptive work with a global impact in the marketplace. You will find her always ready for a meaningful conversation and a good laugh.
