Have you ever heard that godliness is caught, not taught? The point of the observation being that if you actually want your children and those around you to obey and follow the Lord, they need to see you do it first. While I wholeheartedly agree that consistency in practicing what we preach is a necessity, I disagree that godliness is merely caught. I’d like to argue that love for God and obedience to his commands is caught, taught, and bought by the blood of Christ.
Sometimes when my daughter is trying to get her way, she’ll say something like “God says it’s not kind for you to tell me no.” In her young mind, she knows two things; She wants whatever I’ve said she can’t have and she knows that I deeply value what God’s Word says. The heart of my daughter has caught on to what mom cares about. Yet, her understanding of God’s Word and its meaning needs to be corrected through proper instruction. To our knowledge, she has also not been granted the grace of salvation and therefore what she wants is not yet influenced by the Spirit. My daughter is catching, learning, and still in need of God’s saving grace.
Salvation is a gift from God to those who believe and we know that we can’t force someone into salvation. We also know that it’s impossible to save them ourselves (Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 6:23). Yet, statistics show that God uses the ordinary means of the family unit as a method of gospel extension and as an example of faith. According to the Lifeway Research Group, if a father is the first to come to faith in a household, statistics show a 93% probability that everyone else in the household will follow.1 Does this guarantee that a believing father will have all believing children? Absolutely not. But it does show us a greater reality that salvation and obedience to the Lord are caught and taught in homes where godliness is prevalent and the gospel is proclaimed. This statistic should encourage us to do the hard work of exemplifying faith in our home, teaching it diligently to our children, and trusting the Lord with the souls of those we love most.
I can’t tell you which of these concepts is most difficult to do. Teaching requires forethought, intentionality, and creativity. Modeling requires a genuine love for the Lord that overflows into action. I don’t know about your kids, but mine can smell hypocrisy a mile away. Trusting the Lord requires holding open handedly that which we most highly value, the spiritual state of our children. Every aspect of raising our littles in the fear and admonition of the Lord requires endurance and above all, it requires God’s grace to do what is impossible for human hands (Eph. 6:4).
At this point in writing, I’m feeling the weight of my own inadequacies and failures. I think of the responsibility to be an excellent teacher and model of godliness to my children and all I see are the ways I’ve missed the mark even just today. I forgot to mention how God made the moon as we discussed it last night. I was angry when my son dropped his noodles on the floor. I worried about the salvation of my daughter as I sent her off to school. In every way, I’ve failed just in the last 24 hours. How can I be a leader of godliness in my own home?
This is why the gospel is such wonderful news. The Lord has made a way despite our failures by his sacrifice on the cross. When I look at all the people who the Lord used to lead me to himself, not one of them was perfect. They all failed and they all confessed and admitted that failure in front of me. Yet, God was faithful to use broken people to accomplish his purpose of gospel extension. I can only hope that he’ll do the same in the lives of my children by using me, a very broken and needy vessel, as a means of grace to the children he has placed in my home. I can work hard for God’s glory and for the good of my children all while knowing that the Lord can redeem and use my failures to accomplish his perfect purposes in my own life and in the lives of those I love most. We’ll fail, but God never will. This doesn’t mean that the outcomes will always be what we want, but it does mean that we can trust in the Lord’s goodness toward us no matter what he deems as best (Ps. 145:17).
So how do we create spiritually healthy and thriving homes? I’d say it requires three things that all fall under the category of God’s redeeming grace:
Teach:
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (Deut. 6:6-7)
Model:
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matt. 5:16)
Trust the Lord:
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9)
By God’s grace may we all be spiritually healthy homes where love for Christ is evident, his Word is on our tongues, and our hearts trust in our gracious Savior.
Footnotes:
1 https://nickcady.org/2016/06/20/the-impact-on-kids-of-dads-faith-and-church-attendance/#:~:text=If%20the%20mother%20is%20the,in%20the%20household%20will%20follow.
Photo Credit: Jenna Martin
Haylee is a wife, mother of two, and faithful church member. She is also pursuing an M.Div from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Haylee is most passionate about Bible literacy and biblical theology. She recently authored her first book, God of Forever,with Hosanna Revival. You can find more of Haylee on Instagram at @hayleejwilliams.
