Read Matthew 4:1-11
Do you think the wilderness knows?1
I wonder what the wilderness felt as the Spirit led Jesus into it.
Did the flowers bloom and dance in the wind? Did the rocks cry out and sing? Did the waves bounce with life? Or did a calm peace rush over them?
Do you think the wilderness knew of the temptation that soon would follow?
Did stress consume them as they felt the battle between Christ and Satan?
Were they overcome with fear?
Did the flowers shrivel and hide? Did the rocks stay silent? Did the waves flow timidly?
Or did they know?
Do you think they knew that Jesus was the Son of God?2
That he is the Alpha and the Omega,
The First and the Last,
The Beginning and the End,3
And that by him all things are created?4
Do you think the wilderness knows
That he is the radiance of the glory of God,
The exact imprint of his nature,
That he upholds the universe by the word of his power,5
That he is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow?6
Do you think the wilderness knows
That he is the prophesied Savior that was bruised, pierced, persecuted, and killed
But he brings healing, relief, freedom, and life?7
Do you think the wilderness knows
That he is Overcomer of all,8
Defeater of death,9
The final Victor?10
Do the flowers, rocks, and waves know
That abundant life flows from him,11
That he is the Bread of Life,
Who quenches our thirst and hunger?12
That he will never cast out those who come to him?13
Do you think the wilderness knows
That he listens14
when it cries out
when it is hurting
when it is alone
when it is weak
when it is overcome
And that he brings
peace15
healing16
presence17
strength18
victory?19
Do you think the wilderness knows
That he will bring us rest20
And carry us home?21
Do you think the wilderness knows that it belongs to him?
I think so.
Do you know that you belong to him?? Do you know who he is?
“[Jesus] answered, ‘I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out’” (Luke 19:40).
—Sara Bolger
When Your Confidence In Christ Is Wavering
Have you ever questioned who God is? Have you ever forgotten that you belong to him?
Maybe you are in the pit of that right now. First, let me remind you that it is okay. There is grace in seasons when you don’t remember who God is. There is forgiveness in seasons when calling on his name feels too heavy.
We have all been, or will be, in these trials. You are not alone in this. Even the disciples had doubts. Here are just two examples of it. In Matthew 8:23-27, the disciples followed Jesus onto a boat. While on the sea, there arose a great storm—a storm where the boat was being swamped by the waves. Jesus was sleeping during all of this, and in fear the disciples cried out to Jesus, “‘Save us Lord; we are perishing.’ And he said to them, ‘Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?’” Then, in Matthew 17:14-20, the disciples had tried to cast a demon out, and they could not. The disciples asked Jesus later, “‘Why could we not cast it out?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your little faith.’”
The Problem
In both of these situations, Jesus responds by calling out their lack of faith. In order to understand why, let’s take a deeper look into what faith is. In Romans 4, Paul explains how Abraham lived out a life of faith and that “No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised” (Romans 4:20-21). Jesus mentioned faith because he saw that it was their doubt that was holding them back. Jesus saw that the disciples forgot his character when their eyes were fixed on their own fear and limitations.
Thoughts of doubt fill my mind all too often. I am too broken for Jesus to be able to heal me from my past. Others have called me worthless, so I must be the same in Jesus’ eyes. I am too unlovable for Jesus to call me his beloved. Life and beauty can not spring forth from the ashes of suffering because Jesus “feels” far.
When I look at my brokenness, I forget that Jesus is the Perfect Healer. When I look at my own insecurities, I forget that Jesus is the strength in my weaknesses. I fix my eyes on what I can see. I look at my own limitations and flaws. I forget who my Heavenly Father is; I forget that I am his child.
Do you ever find yourself fixing your eyes on everything going on around you, instead of on the promises and character of Jesus? Have you ever gone through a season where being his child was not your primary identity, but one that was overshadowed by another?
The Choice
In the poem above, I wonder the same thing about the wilderness. I wonder if the wilderness focused on the tempting of Jesus, rather than on the fact that he is the Overcomer of all. I wonder if the flowers, rocks, and waves hid from their circumstance in fear. I wonder if the wilderness knows it belongs to him.
Each of us has this exact same choice. Either you choose to be the flower that shrivels and hides, or you choose to be the flower that blooms and dances. Either you choose to be the rock that stays silent, or you choose to be the rock that cries out and sings. Either you choose to be the waves that bounce with life, or you choose to be the waves that flow timidly. So which will you choose? Will you choose to fix your eyes on Jesus, reminding yourself that you belong to him? Will you commit to a life of steadfastness? Or will you choose to fix your eyes on your circumstances and commit to a life of folly—a life that is lived like a “wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind”22 and characterized by a wavering faith? Choosing a life of steadfastness does not mean avoiding these doubts and covering them up with toxic positivity. It is an invitation for the Lord to meet us in the dark and remind us who he is.
There is no shame if you are living a life encompassed by doubt in Jesus. It is a hard choice. Maybe one that you have never heard of before or one that you have been putting off. But it is worth it. A life of fully pursuing Jesus, is worth the sacrifice of giving up the ways of this world and picking up the cross daily, confidently knowing that Jesus is enough, and he is worthy of your life. It’s the choice between life and death.
The Response
So how do we respond to this choice? How do we make the change to fix our eyes on Jesus with unwavering confidence of who he is?
I am so glad we are here together, friend! In the poem, I wonder if the wilderness can see their fear, acknowledge it, and look to the truth of their Creator. Through this poem, I focus on the choice and the invitation that we are given to either fix our eyes on Christ, or fix our eyes on our circumstances.
Action Plan
#1: Find the fears, lies, and doubts that you have been believing.
The first step is to figure out what the fears, lies, and doubts are that hinder you so that you can continue to fight them. For some people, realizing subconscious lies that they have been believing about God can be really hard. And for others, it feels like they could name a thousand right off the top of their head. If it is hard for you, I would recommend time in prayer, journaling, and conversation with other Christ followers. Reach out to God in prayer. Journal about your circumstances, thought patterns, and beliefs to uncover subconscious thoughts. Finally, talk to another sister or brother in Christ so that they may help you see what you may be blind to.
#2: Keep the fears, lies, and doubts in the light.
Once you see these fears, lies, and doubts that you have been believing about God’s character, it’s time to keep them in the light. It can be very easy to pull them back into the darkness because you think they might make you less faithful, or like your friends would abandon you if they only knew. The enemy will try everything he can to get those fears, lies, and doubts back in his possession. Don’t let him take them back. Acknowledge them, and keep them present before Christ and before your community. Be honest with yourself and let your emotions come up raw. Let yourself feel the grief of letting your confidence falter and everything that has followed it. God wants to be let in. He wants to sit with you in the honest and vulnerable spaces. He’s not afraid of them.
#3: Look to the truth of your Creator.
Lastly, when we invite God in, we let him teach us that he is in control, that he is the Overcomer of all. Look to his truth to fill your mind. In order to do this, I would recommend finding specific Scripture to be able to repeat back to yourself when lies are loud. His Word is living and active.. Scripture is a weapon to fight against the enemy.
We see this in the wilderness as well when Jesus is being tempted. As Jesus continued to quote Scripture, Satan left him. Take those lies, fears, and doubts that you uncovered and write out Scripture that you can repeat back to yourself. By inviting Jesus into the lies, he can replace them with his truth.
Conclusion and Reflection
My prayer for you is that when your confidence in Christ is wavering, you can remember his promises. Repeat back to yourself who he says he is. Abide in his truth. He wants you to know his name. So next time when you forget who you belong to, invite him in because he wants to show you.
For these next two days, I have a prompt for you:
Day 1: Read Matthew 4:1-11
Journal about these questions:
- While looking at verses 1-3, in what ways do you relate to the wilderness? How would you react as the flowers, rocks and waves during the temptation of Jesus?
- What is your typical response to temptation or difficult circumstances?
- Which characteristics of Jesus are clear and portrayed through these stories?
Day 2: Read Matthew 8:23-27 and Matthew 17:14-20
Journal about these questions:
- What are some parts of your life where you have a harder time trusting Jesus?
- Jesus could calm the sea and cast out demons. Where do you need to be reminded that he has everything in his hands?
- Which characteristics of Jesus are clear and portrayed through these stories?
Footnotes
1 Matthew 4:1
2 Luke 1:35
3 Revelation 22:13
4 Colossians 1:16
5 Hebrews 1:3
6 Hebrews 13:8
7 Isaiah 53:4-5
8 John 16:33
9 2 Timothy 1:10
10 1 Corinthians 15:24-25
11 John 10:10
12 John 6:35
13 John 6:37
14 1 Peter 5:7
15 John 14:27
16 Isaiah 53:5
17 Matthew 28:20
18 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
19 1 Corinthians 15:57
20 Matthew 11:28-30
21 John 14:2-3
22 James 1:6
Photo credit: Emilee Carpenter
Sara Bolger is a college student at the University of Cincinnati. Go Cats! Sara is passionate about poetry and portraying the gospel to people in new and different ways. She is a South East Cincinnati Capernaum leader, and absolutely loves it! She is a true ENFP and Enneagram 7. Sara loves adventure, spontaneity, and coffee!
